Saturday, 5 March 2011

Proof of life - and death

First of all thank you so much to the many new followers! Despite my lack of attendance the number keeps rising - I am in awe! I promise there will be a time where I can show my gratitude and I will browse, follow other blogs and comment.

At the moment I am at home in Vienna in Austria. Sadly my beloved nan passed away 2 days ago but I got here in time, I was able to say good bye and she died at home surrounded by her 3 daughters and me, I am her eldest grandchild. We basically held her and watched her dying and as horrible as this sounds - it was a beautiful moment, she was able to let go after a number of years of suffering, she managed to just fall asleep peacefully without a fight and I perceived it as a very bonding moment between my mother, my aunts and me.

My nan, or Omi as I called her, partly raised me, for at least 10 years of my life I lived with her - for parts of my childhood full time and later on in my very late teens/early 20s I lived across the hall from her in the flat opposite of hers. To me she was more than just a nan, she was my second mother. A woman who always took care of me - my whole life, even as a severely handicapped old lady in the last years she supported me financially. My parents are great people and I love them dearly but the one rock who was reliable was my nan. Her flat is is the only steady home I ever had as my parents always moved around. The street, the district, the appartment she lived in - to me this is where I come from, my roots.
3 1/2 years ago she suffered a very bad stroke which she - amazingly - against all odds survived. Her whole life she had a very, very strong spirit, a true fighter and this amazing stamina and spirit also showed after the stroke - she even gained some speech again, she managed to walk a little but she had to have full time care. Once a very elegant and proud woman she still kept her pride and died very much loved. I hope she can rest in peace now with my equally beloved grandad who died nearly 13 years ago.

I want to scan some old pics of me and my nan and some of her as a young woman but for now a pic of me and my boy yesterday, the day after she died. 

The church is just opposite of my parents flat, tomorrow I will say a little prayer for my nan and light a candle in the church. 


Lady in black said...

I'm very sorry.
Thank you for reminding me how lucky I am still having my grandma.

frauniepi said...

sehr traurig, aber schön, daß ihr alle dabei sein konntet.
grüße aus dem 5. (ja, dem wiener 5.)

Lexy Mademyday said...

I feel very sorry for your loss. My grand-aunt is also my rock, she took care of me when I was young and now I'm the one who take care of her because she can't get out of her flat without my help. I feel very grateful to be able to give back the love she gave me.


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